Three weeks ago, one of the men I was as close to over the last 10 years as any passed away. He was my father-in-law's best friend. And we spent every holiday together, and many crawfish boils, pig roasts and even a goose hunt in Canada together. He was a good man and a good influence on my wife growing up, and to my daughters, even if he was a "right-wing nut job" (a term I used with the utmost affection with him). I miss him.
The thing I have noticed about death is that it makes you re-evaluate everything. Carreer, attitude, faith, where you live, how you spend your free time and your money. I guess the impact of these things that are only important during our time in this skin is magnified when we realize how limited that time is (that is not a good LARC sentence).
So I have been re-evaluating. And it seems a bit premature since I have only been where I am for a year. Maybe it is too soon to consider a next step. Maybe the next step is to further engage where I am. Maybe not. I honestly don't know and have gone back and forth on this a million times. And when it gets overwhelming and dreadful, I remember that all of these worries and even faith itself are temporary. And that gives me comfort, and a sense of urgency, which leads to dread. Nice, huh?