Monday, February 25, 2008

Intensive purposes

My friend, The Cachinnator, frequently post conversations with his wife. They are always entertaining. Well, I don't actually talk to my wife. But sometimes when I am sitting in mock trial and she is home with the girls, I get to IM with her. It is just like dating - when you have been married for a while, you take things like communication, interaction and information for granted. Only talking through the written word takes it back to how it was in the early stages - limited interaction, limited information, lots of room for miscommunication.
We actually communicate quite well for a couple that has been through 7 addresses, 4 cities, 3 dogs and 2 daughters. So, we were IMing tonight about Carebear. She is in a stage of intervention. She's got the monkey on her back, big time. The last three nights, though, stone-cold clean. No thumb-sucking. This is not an easy fight. She wants to quit. She has for several months, but we knew that unless she was really ready to do it, it wouldn't work. Grandaddy got some sort of nasty tasting nailpolish on Saturday. So they had a big party apparently and everyone, including Grandaddy put on the the putrid polish. Caroline made me taste it. BLECH! So for two nights it was enough to keep her thumb dry. But this morning, she was sucking away. She had built up a tolerance to this awful taste so that she could get her fix. So tonight, again she is crying about how she can't stop but wants to. It is so sad. What we don't want to do, that we do. So, we help her through it. Actually, Cat is helping her through it. The kid kick way too much for all three of us to share a bed. And hopefully this episode of Intervention will end happily in a week or so, I hope. I miss my bed. Good night from the couch...

Friday, February 22, 2008

I am Robot

I am having a conversation with nawinkler as I write this. He is sitting a couple of rows down in a virtually empty and quiet student lounge. But we choose to communicate basically in binary through a complex series of routers and servers hundreds or even thousands of miles away. He says it is like "the time-honored tradition of passing notes." I never passed notes, except to Jill Moeller in 5th grade a couple of times. I preferred to talk in class. My teachers did not prefer that. He did bring up the funny prank of "ghost-writing" notes in hopes they would get picked up and read aloud to the class. He is a funny guy. And so are you. Don't let anyone tell you different. If you care, below I am posting our conversation from last night - without his permission. Is it funny? I have no idea. I thought so.

Nathan: you have an exoskeleton?
me: no, hillary does
and it is sagging
so is mccain's for that matter
and yours
Nathan: I have one but you donme: correct, robot garbage
Nathan: why don't you have one?
me: because i am not indo-steel-scum
Nathan: When did I get an exoskeleton?
me: when you were manufactured, i suppose, r2jerk2
Nathan: I'm pretty sure I'm flesh and blood and skin and bones
with just enough muscles to keep upright
me: that's what you were programmed to believe
Nathan: What about being sick? Robots don't get you have never been sick. just in need of a tune up
you bucket of bolts, you Nathan: What about being depressed? Do robots get depressed?
me: i would if i was a lifeless ventriloquist's dummy
Nathan: Clinton, McCain, and I are robots. What about Obama?
me: no way, man.
that dude is flesh and blood and blood
Nathan: What about Ron Paul?
What about Ron Paul?
me: he's part robot, like the million dollar man
Nathan: cyborg, then?
me: not really. you are kinda cyborg b/c of your "flesh" exo
Nathan: what about Kucinich?
me: alien
Nathan: I suppose there is a massive conspiracy to make everyone think they're human. Or at least make me think everyone's human?
me: yeah, it's just your chip. the humans, all of us, know. we just don't let on. i hope you don't have a total failure because of this new intel
Nathan: I think I'm okay. I'll just be like, "well, they're probably not human. who cares?" when I'm a jerk to people.
me: you'll be right approximately 32% of the time
Nathan: Is this assuming I'm a jerk to people randomly, or to only those people who have demonstrated they don't care about my feelings?
me: oh, if they don't demonstrate, they are always humans.
you slags are programmed to not by rude to other "humans"
Nathan: okay. I'll be like, "Oh well--they're human--who cares?"
me: if your programming allows
Nathan: Did you see that episode of futurama where Fry was convinced he was a robot?
me: no, we humans don't find that show entertaining
do you?
Nathan: I both find it entertaining and remember that episode
me: gross
and obviously you remember it

did your battery die?
Nathan: no. why?
me: just got quiet
i am witty right now, you tin-damned-can
Nathan: you were going on quite a rant. I didn't want to interrupt.
me: you skin covered candy machine you soft-shelled hard-headed heartless brainiac
you pre-programmed shim-shamming sleepless slag
you lifeless, liverless (did you know that you didn't have a liver)
as i was saying
Nathan: I can't say I'm suprised
me: you lifeless liverless skadumptydump
it does explain your low tolerence
which is it, c3peepehead?
Nathan: Am I a spellcheck robot?
Low tolerance for what?
me: all of you are
for alcohol, keep up, rosie the jetson maid
What ya got Johnny 5?
Did you leave? are you having some shots of oil with Tom Servo?
Nathan: Did you leave the Obama support group on facebook?
me: and Crow?
yeah. i was trying to find a more official one
he still has my support
i will not let another robot run this country
Nathan: you're just one voice among 300 million+
me: that is where you are wrong. i control the votes of approximately 32% of voting age american "citizens"
Nathan: what percentage of that percentage is registered? And how are they spread out compared to the electoral college? me: almost all. which makes it a majority of registered voters.
Nathan: Has Obama locked up the nomination yet?
me: all i can say about electoral college is that there are 5 registered robots in Wymoing and none in New Hampshire
Nathan: why do you refer to your exoskeleton in your status if you don't have one?
me: it is as if hillary is talking. your witchip needs an update
Nathan: does Obama have the nomination locked up yet?
me: no
but he will after march 2
there is no way hillary wins either tx or ohio
Nathan: If you control so many votes, how come he doesn't have it yet?
me: dude, i have control. i don't always shose to use it.
it's like free will
but not absolute
Nathan: when it's something this important, why do you leave free will? me: for fun
but i will not allow the florida or michigan primaries to count
and i prefer to call the "superdelegates"- "break glass in case of emergency" delegates
Nathan: but with your control, what could possibly be an emergency?
me: if i forget or somethin
programming robots isn't my only hobby
i am trying to get a law degree after all
oh, and in the interest of full disclosure, ****** is a robot.
thus the A Nathan: any other professors?
me: I'd rather not say. But we have at least two right now.
and have had two others
Bates is certainly NOT a robot
again, alien
Nathan: okay, well spread the wealth with those A's please
me: robots are programmed to keep robots down.
i can't override that
it is part of my plan
Nathan: Did you get the tax worksheet done?
me: huh?
have to go be a neglegent doctor now.
I hope to not be back.

Tuesday, February 12, 2008

Is we ready?

I was at the gym today-seriously, i was working out my muscles and everything. So this trainer lady and two older fellas (I guess that gives away that strengthen my body sculpture at WRS-i have no idea what that stands for) started talking politics behind the machine I had enlisted to turn my chest into two firm hairy mounds of manstrength. The lady gal said that there was no way Hillary or Obama could win because the country wasn't ready for a female or black president. How can she say that? Why would she say that?
Obviously, the democratic party is more than ready. The field started with several qualified white men, governors and senators representing a wide range of view within the party. They are all gone and the black man and white woman are all that is left. Not only is the party ready, but they are excited. Voter turnout is unbelievable for this primary season. Moreover, polls show that Obama leads McCain in head to head competition for the overall election. This isn't just young voters. Even those of us in the 30-45 range cannot remember a time before civil rights.
So why do people keep saying this? Because they are one of the few left that aren't ready.
Well get ready, folks or pack up because come this time next year, we will have an historic president, a first representing a group that wasn't allowed to vote at the start of this great experiment.
My brain muscle is sore. So are my pecks.

Monday, February 11, 2008

network tv blows

I cannot imagine not having satellite television or cable. seriously, the vast majority of shows I enjoy are not on the big 4. Tonite I watched Whitest Kids U Know on IFC and Breaking Bad on AMC. Whitest Kids is from the producers of Kids in the Hall and has a very similar feel, only uncensored (and they do let you know it). I think the first season was on Fuse, the only channel less known than IFC. But the new season is strong. Check em out on youtube. But be warned, this stuff is rated very R.
As for Breaking Bad, three episodes have aired, but I have only seen the premier (will start episode 2 as soon as I post this). The show is amazingly realistic for a show about a chemestry teacher turned meth cooker EXCEPT that this guy who is portrayed so well by Bryan Cranston has a waxed back. Anybody who is that hairy doesn't have a smooth, hairless back. I know this. Just trust me. But anyway, outside of that, the show is really awesome.
That is all.

Sunday, February 10, 2008


Yeah, so I always suspected that while a lot of people look like idiots with mustachios that ddk could rock it like Frank Zappa. Damned if I wasn't right. So maybe I had a little too much time on my hands after finals.

ddk is a 2L

Downtime is one of those things that you don't realize you need until you get it. The last few weeks has been hell. I am not saying that lightly. Seriously, Cat and Carebear have been sick, the girls have started violin lessons, Cat's been in Cat (on a Hot Tin Roof) at the Civ - saw it last night; she was great, the show was pretty good (it is showing next friday and saturday). And I have gotten onto a mock trial team. Oh yeah, I had 4 finals. I honestly don't remember a busier start to a year. And this is my 32nd time to do this.

Because of that, downtime became history. And today, the first relatively free day I have had in forever has been amazing. My spirit is revived. My attitude is much better. If I have offended any of you, other than the BLS IT guys, I am sorry. Let's hang out soon. I Promise a better me.

I spent three whole hours today by myself with no obligations. It was fan-freakin-tastic. Mountain biking, going to the WRS whirlpool, driving the long way home. And I am finally starting my blog. We'll see how long this lasts...

All of this was basically an excuse to reflect. I am so blessed. Cat is a great wife, not the best homemaker, but an absolutely wonderful soulmate. Ev is just about the most thoughtful and brilliant 1st grader on the planet. And Carebear is Hi-larious. She can make me laugh even when she is about to get spanked.

I am getting an amazing education that will help me provide for these three ladies better than before. And I love learning the law - no matter what I said last week.

So, there it is, 6 weeks of hell is over. I am done with my first year of law school. And I am blessed and refreshed. That pretty much sums it up.