Friday, December 26, 2008

Empty

WARNING - MORE PERSONAL THAN USUAL.

I am surrounded by emptiness this morning. I am sitting alone in a large living room. The silence is hard to wear this morning, kinda like my belt on Christmas Eve. What a feast. But the feast turned to a gluttony of consumerism. And now I sit alone in the vomitorium. Too much?

But seriously. I have been wondering why I haven't felt Christmassy. I had chalked it up to stress and fatigue and a million other things. But I haven't felt that sense of overwhelming joy even one time this season.

Don't misunderstand. I have enjoyed spending so much time in Bmt with the girls. Great food. Good times. Good service on Christmas Eve. And there weren't even any major blowups. So that success should be acknowledged.

And yet I sit, surrounded by empty boxes, shreds of shiney paper and plastic package carcuses. I guess the lesson I must learn yet again this year - Exceess can lead to emptiness. Next year I promises to keep it simple in an attempt to keep it pure.

2 comments:

alexis said...

this is fantastic. you're so right.

i have been thinking very seriously about requesting a non-present christmas next year, in which the families donate all the money that would have been spent on presents, and just enjoy each other's company instead. wouldn't that be excellent?

i don't expect the idea to go over well, but i would like to try.

diadelkendall said...

It would be nice. And, if my experience is any indicator, it won't go over well. Everyone else will think you are cheating the kid out of Christmas. The fact is, this way of doing things is cheating them out of christmas. if you haven't read Scott Baker's blog about Christmas, you should stop by and check it out. Brings a different perspective about Christmas vs. Holidays. Maybe that would be the best way to look at it.